STUDLY

Chris Carpenter "nailed it" today. He is truly a "stud". He is as awesome as a "stripper"....er wait what??

Hey Lower Haight Freaxxx, wanna trade Carpy for Andy LaRoche????

Andy LaRoche...

Please, my friend. Andy... I rooted for you as a Dodger. I will root for you as a Pirate. You are my starting 3B. Please don't suck horribly, ok???

TWO WORDS:

"GET LOWE"

General Smoltz

Word has it that General Smoltz, aka Ol' Ironsides, dismissed offers of anesthesia during his various shoulder injuries and instead used a pint of whiskey and a wooden spoon. This may explain why Smoltz cannot be slowed by conventional physical ailments...

"Em"VP!!!!!

Emilio Bonifacio, star of the Culver City Centaurs (my team, BOOYA!!!) is on pace to becoming a HUGE STAR. Not unlike Emilio Estevez back in the day! Let's just hope that Bonifacio doesn't turn into Emilio Estevez of Mighty Ducks 3 and instead keeps the pace of awesomeness that the Brat Pack/Repo Man era Estevez held....

The Dredator

Get ready for The Dredator! He only puts his red beanie on when he gets particularly angry. You'll notice that this is the "Damaged Version." That's because I'm predicting lackluster playtime from this extraterrestrial slacker.